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October 11 2017

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drink cuphead’s insides for only $47.50

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Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on. 

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Don’t mess with the devil, boys..
He can be a real snake

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what a bad boy!

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October 10 2017

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mental illness is weird because even if the toughest shit has been going on i didn’t shed a tear and then literally got a mental breakdown because i couldn’t find my watch the other day


too relatable


Women: You always talk over me and-

Man: That literally never happens

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In honor of halloween i’d like to remind u all of this iconic scene in television history


me, every single month without fail: huh weird I feel kind of bloated and lethargic but also very hungry??? and I’m breaking out??? and my back hurts??? this is so strange I have never experienced this before in my whole entire life… what could this be

me a few days later, every single month without fail: oh

October 09 2017

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Y’all making Gravity Falls refs with Ducktales and left out the worst one.

Don’t worry I did it for you.

October 08 2017

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October 07 2017

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Pam Who Death Forgot.

so i just happen to own the perfect amount of monitors and uhm

thank you for these new wallpapers


my dad’s a bitch

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me to my cat: hows my sweet girl doing today…i love you

my cat: shrieks with the voice of a thousand year old river monster

me: oh thats good! i love you 💞💝💓💖💖💕💓💖💖💓💝💖💘💕💘💘💘💓💖💝💕💕💕💓💘💓💓💕💘

Reblog if you think this person deserves a giant Toblerone

October 06 2017

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Nobody around here really appreciates my taste in weird stuff.

October 05 2017

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“Camp Campbell is the place for me and you.” #campcamp #max #david #dadvid #roosterteeth #kyjane #dillydalleydoodle #myart #doodle #ink

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